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My Business Is More Than Just A Paycheck...It's a Promise!

8/19/2012

3 Comments

 
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I always loved singing and being onstage.  But there came a time when I just phoned it in because I stopped caring.  Then tragedy struck...and the world around me started caving in.  I lost my best friend of 28 years to melanoma.  She was never sick a day in her life but what doctors originally thought was an innocent bout of bronchitis landed her in a hospital on a Wednesday.  She was transferred to a hospital in Boston 2 days later.  Diagnosed with melanoma two days later. And given 2 weeks to leave 1 day after that.  From diagnosis to death, Beth lost her battle with Melanoma in only one short week. It has not been easy. Even a year and half later I still try and wrap my brain around it all.  Now, I am trying to do what I know Beth would want me to - keep on keepin' on.  And suddenly my passion has come alive again and I know that this one life I've been given is fleeting and I have to take advantage of every breath I take.  

If I didn't believe that people's spirits stayed with us in some way, shape, or form before Beth's passing, I certainly do now.

The day of Beth's wake, which I could not attend due to contractual obligations for a production I was in, I kept receiving signs she was with me.

The first sign I got was inside a book Beth gave me for my high school graduation. It was a coffee table book: 125 Years of Broadway. I remember the book and even used it in college as a reference for research papers. What I never realized is Beth wrote a message to me in that book. Blue ink on blue paper.  It took 18 years for me to see that message.  I believe I saw the message when I was SUPPOSED to.

Seeing this reminded me of how much Beth believed in me and how she was always and will always be one of my biggest cheerleaders. I graduated High School in 1993 - 2003 has come and gone - and I can tell you I was NOT on the cover of any book, but I didn't become a professional actress until 2008 so I have until 2018 to get myself on the cover of a book. :) I'm working on it, Beth!

Every day I think of her and I miss her so much.  This evening while driving home from Pride in the Park in Allentown (a wonderful community gathering of love) I was thinking of her. Just as my eyes watered a song came on the radio which reminded me of her "Shuffle Off to Buffalo" from 42nd Street (Beth was a bad-ass tapping diva!) and I stared at my XM box in complete shock.  As I lifted my eyes I saw a hawk sitting atop a disabled vehicle on the side of the road.  During Beth's last week and the week of her services, there were many sightings of hawks by those closest to her.  They have become a loving reminder of her anytime one of us sees one.  

Even though she is not here with me in  the flesh, I know she is an angel on my shoulder.  When people close to us pass on we ask a lot of questions to which we will never know the answers.  For me, starting Star of the Day Event Productions answers an unspoken question.  It lies in my heart and soul and I know I'm doing the right thing.  

Until we meet again, Bethie Poo!


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3 Comments
Lisa link
8/19/2012 09:02:56 am

What a beautiful tribute to Beth! You should be very proud of how far you've come and how far you are going! You are realizing your dreams with your friends here on Earth and in the Heavens above! I have no doubt that Beth is a guided force.. your angel is with you and she is helping you soar like the almighty hawk! So proud of you!

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Kate Elfatah link
8/21/2012 11:35:13 pm

I'm sure Beth appreciates all you do and appreciates this tribute today. You're living a dream and these are things that makes us all push a little harder. Now you're growing and meeting more amazing people that I hope touches your life as much as Beth has. Much love!

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donna hosfeld link
8/23/2012 06:45:07 am

Wow...that was some story, girl. Thanks for sharing. I'm SO, SO sorry for your loss. *hugs* from afar...

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